Spring cleaning

Yup. Its that time again.... Diging through old boxes, searching for skis, tackle boxes, and cheerleading outfits, ( you know the one you keep to see if you " still got it " ;) *)
and call it what you want but its definately in the air, blowing away the stale dust that covers what could be our lives...
In case you havent noticed, I am indeed inspired and in great spirits, comfirmed buy strange glances by people who know me best... I recieved an invitation to lend my gifts to something positve, and through that i ahve learned that we all need to rest, come together and share our stories...
So as you stare in amazingment, holding some long lost item that may very well represent the best part of you, know that I am smiling with you !!!

Guess what?

Well, It has been a while, but I just thought Id drop in. It seems as though Im making progress in terms of letting go, and I have a story!
A few weeks ago, I was on my way to one of my favorite hangouts, when I saw a purple feather laying on the ground, so I picked ot up. Whats nte worthy about this , is that over 2 years ago, I would have never touched it , because that color reminds me of the person I have the most conflicted relationship with right now...
But I have had the chance to get a few things of my chest... I have been doing alot of digging... and I found the reason I felt the way I did, which was strange.
So now, I am just curious to see what eles I am going to find!

Well,

A new is year is quickly aproaching, and it brings with it a chance for renual. I for one know I desperately need to take advantage of the oportunity! lots to clean out of my emotional closet still... hope you will take the challenge too, trust me I know its not easy...
Ill take the opportunity to work on things one at a time, I scould start with the 8 year friendship that hasnt amounted to much. It comes down to me living with someone who simply doenst want me there... nothing personal, but yet it is... I was torn thinking that I wanted to belong there, but I know i need my own place. I dreamt I went to get up from the couch, representing my desire to leave alogether, and my male roommate, stopped my by putting his arms over my shoulders keeping me seated as if to say "Not yet!!!"
I know that nothing will change how my friend feel about me, as of now, and I am ok with that, I am just hanging in till things get worked out for me...

The newset clog

Well, Im on the tail end of a relapse. I got to thinking again about what I am still holding on to. I just simply dont know how to turn my emotions off, ands thats the real problem. And just letting it burn isnt working out quite like I thought...
14 months. Thats how long its been since I have spoken to the man I am still in love with. Its been over two years since Ive even seen him. But it just takes the smallest thing to remind me how I feel. I guess because part of me is still hoping it could work out. But put it this way, I still remember his phone number, but I just quit using it. I begining to think that thereis something really wrong with this situation, or maybe its just me.